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Goodbye, little Ascalon.

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  • Goodbye, little Ascalon.

    My precious little Ascalon.
    The crested gecko I waited 2 years to own.

    His health began to decline a few weeks ago, for reasons I could not originally figure out.

    I posted here to Pangea, and with the help of this wonderful community I tried all sorts of things. We thought his cage was too big, he wasn't getting enough water, or perhaps he had parasites.

    He was always small, but as he got older and didn't grow I began to worry. When the community cemented my concerns about his weight, I did all I could. It fluctuated back and forth, teetering between 1.5 grams and 2.0, still much too low for his age.

    I finally took him to the vet this morning.

    He was spindly, but ok. A little lethargic, but he perked up after the vet assistant weighed him and the doc got a look at him. We found a cat hair in his vent so we thought it might have been a combination of impaction and parasites. Fixable issues, though, he said. We waited, and he brought out some very mild medicine. A laxative and some de-wormer.

    However, Lonny was weak. So, so weak. The stress of being given the medication was just too much for him, it seems. He gaped a few times after being given the second med and then...Stopped. Right there on the table, right there in front of me.

    I lost my father 4 days ago, but I was being strong for my mother.

    This broke me.

    My precious little Ascalon. Gone, just like that. Waking up to find him dead would have hurt less than this.

    I take solace in the fact that I can say I at least tried. That I didn't abandon him and leave him to wither away. The vet was wonderful, even after I quite literally fell to the floor in the arms of my close friend, and my mother.

    We took him home and buried him in the little nest he loved so much, with one of his false fall flowers on top. He lays under the tree right outside my window, that always lined up with his cage.

    I miss him already. He was my rock when my partner and I separated, and my rock when my father was gone, even though he was already sick then. He was going to beautiful when he grew up, but...Now I'll never get to see that.

    I hope my dad knows how to mix gecko food, where ever he is. Lonny was always a picky eater, but I hope he can pig out now that he isn't sick.

    My mother and my good friend Emily took me around town after we buried him, to some private pet shops to see if anything clicked with me. Nothing did. Not even the beautiful red pinstriped crestie at Animal Crackers let an impression on me. It just wasn't the same.

    I don't want this to deter me from cresteds, I love them far too much. If I ever get another, I will get a juvi, not a baby, so I can keep a closer eye on it.

    None of them will be the same as Lonny, though. Ever. He was something special, I could just tell.

    But now he's gone, and there's nothing I can do about that.

    A while back I was taking photos of him, when he still seemed healthy. The last photo I took, he jumped away! My camera is a hunk of junk, and the shutter speed was slow, so it photographed both him and the background...Leaving a ghostly image behind. I thought it was really neat at first, but now?

    It just makes me sad.

    Click image for larger version

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    R.I.P. His Royal Highness, Lord Ascalon Johnathan Stickyfeet

    I tried for you, baby. I really did.
    2.1.0 Mixed Cats [Speedy, Ying-Yang, Nyani]
    1.0.0 Crested Gecko [Emperor Zen] {Thank you, Julie!}
    0.0.1 Corn Snake [Lord Penne]
    0.0.1 Kenyan Sand Boa [Sir Byakko]
    R.I.P. Little Ascalon, Queen Rose, and Babykitty.
    Icon: Zen Portrait by my good friend Guggles!

  • #2
    I am so sorry for all of your losses. You and your gecko are in my thoughts.
    1.0 Dog; 1.0 Leopard Gecko;10.5 Crested Geckos; 1.1Gargoyle Geckos; 1.3 Sarasinorum; 5.3.7PI Chahoua; 2.2 E. Agricolae; 1.1 Nuu Ana, 0.1 Isle E, 0.2 G. Marginata, 1.0 L. Williamsi And interested in a few others


    • #3
      Much love and thoughts are with you,


      • #4
        This post made me cry. I am so very sorry for your losses. People do not understand that even something so small as a crested can mean so much to us. He looked like a beautiful little guy and he was so lucky to have you taking good care of him. Sometimes, even when we do our very best, we don't get to keep those we love so much. I think it is sweet the way you buried him too. Keep us updated and know that it will get better. You have a whole forum of people here for you.


        • #5
          I'm so sorry for your losses.
          4.1 Dogs: Baringer, Riesling, Trunks, Tebow & Dante 1.0 Sulcata: Cavin 1.1 KSB: Mordecei & P.B. 2.2.6 Gargoyles: Venture, Triana, LSP, Nyx, 21 & 24 0.2 Leopard Geckos: Videl & Eclipse 1. 0AFT: Rigby 7.7.19 Cresties: Ghost, Drayven, Morzan, Jelly, Esme, Peach, Marcelene, Ino, Chi, Haven, Tsunade, Senju, Cinna, Tribute, Jiraya, Iruka, Kurama, Seelie, Kushina, Tada & Iyrony 1.0 Short Tailed Opossum: Daubie


          • #6
            This made me cry as well. I'm so sorry for your losses. I couldn't even imagine...
            I know that nothing we can say will take the hurt away, but take comfort in knowing that you cared for him and gave him the best life possible. You tried, and that's all you could have done. "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."

            I hope when you're ready you do get another crestie - not to replace your little one, but to give a great life to another little gecko who deserves the love and care you have for them. A second chance - for both you and a gecko.



            • #7
              this made me cry as well. honestly sweet heart you did everything that you could. i really hope you can find the strength to keep loving would be very hard but know that it is not a fault of yours and it could happen to anyone. stay strong and good luck
              2.1.3 cresteds, 1.0 coral snow, and 0.1 sunglow corn snake, 1.0 pastel ball python


              • #8
                Oh goodness, I feel bad for making you all cry! This post may have come out a little...Melodramatic, I guess. But regardless, thank you all for your sympathy. It hurts, it really does, but life goes on and I have to go with it, you know?

                It felt so strange not getting up to mix his food and mist him before bed last night...But that'll pass, I think.

                A kind soul on the forum has offered me one of their geckos, a stunning young male. I'm very drawn to him for some reason, but I'm going to give it a day or so. If I'm still as attached to him as I think I am, I might not vanish from the forums like I had originally thought, after all. We'll see.

                There will always be a tiny gecko-sized hole in my heart where Lonny was, but perhaps with time it'll hurt a bit less.

                Thanks again for your thoughts and condolences, all. It means a lot, it really does. <3
                2.1.0 Mixed Cats [Speedy, Ying-Yang, Nyani]
                1.0.0 Crested Gecko [Emperor Zen] {Thank you, Julie!}
                0.0.1 Corn Snake [Lord Penne]
                0.0.1 Kenyan Sand Boa [Sir Byakko]
                R.I.P. Little Ascalon, Queen Rose, and Babykitty.
                Icon: Zen Portrait by my good friend Guggles!


                • #9
                  Oh honey, I am so sorry you are having to deal with so much grief right of each other! You've got me crying for you. Give yourself time and healing from BOTH your losses, a new gecko.and you will deserve a fresh start after you are over initial mourning. I am so sorry about your daddy... Words cannot express, so I am not even gonna try. I am thinking of you!