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Thread: I'm a Hoarder..Apparently

  1. #1
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    Default I'm a Hoarder..Apparently

    I need to vent. I am so ing sick of my family..mainly my mother. She comes from a screwed up family of alcoholics, and claims since she had so many traumas in her life, it explains her cleaning obsession. It drives her insane if someone leaves cups or whatever out. I've been going through an extremely hard time ever since I lost my job, and she convinced me to take over her house while she was on the road driving a semi.

    I brought over my reptiles, my cats, my breeder rats to feed my snakes...and did she ever leave? Has she yet? No. Therefore I'm living with my mother. I moved out when I was 17 so I would NEVER have to live with her again.

    Every single day she makes some jab about me being a hoarder. I am so FREAKING sick of it. "Nobody else has six cats and nine f^#@ing snakes." I have six cats, all but one (the one of them that is actually my sister's) are fixed, they're all very healthy and happy. I have nine snakes, seven are ball pythons which I'm preparing to breed next year, two are just my PETS that I love. I have three cresteds, a leachie and an E. agricolae. WHO'S BUSINESS IS IT WHAT I HAVE?

    She acts like she's dying every day from the smell of a litter box on the other side of the house, yet she has two large dogs that chew up everything and have (many times) pottied in the floor..yet it's not 'their fault'. They're 'angels'. I hate my life, I wish I'd never agreed to this, and I wish I could live with SOME support without being told I act like my world is ending just because I'm concerned about my third upcoming surgery in less than two years. I'm in pain, I lost an ovary and almost bled out on the last one and adhesions glued my intestines to my uterus. Am I not allowed to be worried? Ugh. Sorry.
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  2. #2
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    Dang! Sorry to hear about all that Do you know why the semi truck job fell through?

    She should seek therapy for her past trauma issues. It might be too late for her to realize, but it sounds like her past trauma has taken control of her behavior and it's effecting her relationship with her own flesh and blood. Good luck with your upcoming surgery. Just know that the Pangea board has many people willing to support you through that!
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  3. #3
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    I appreciate it. It gets much worse, she's been responsible for trying to get me arrested before for having three cats..she claimed I was going to kill myself with them (I used to be allergic). I would've gotten committed, if the police hadn't realized how crazy she sounded, and lost everything. She's done similar things to my sister.

    Ugh, I love this community. And seriously, nine snakes is child's play compared to some reptile keepers, you know?

    Edit: Oh, and she keeps finding reasons not to go with one company or another. I've been stuck here since July and am steadily losing my sanity.
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    I get the same shit from everyone. It's really annoying. If my animals are well taken care of, it's nobodys business how many I have. My favorite part is how people tell me "oh well if you didn't spend all that money on your animals", oh okay. None of my animals are costly. The cat is the biggest expense and even he's probably under forty dollars a month. The other animals really don't cost anything to upkeep and when they need new food it's like once every so many months. And on top of that I work for a pet store where I get a 20% discount. In total I've spent 700.00 since November of last year at the pet store but the majority of that was for the cat and for setting up new tanks, barely any of that was for upkeep.

    I'm sorry your mom is not understanding. Sounds like she's really having personal issues and is taking it out on you which is not fair. I would ignore her as much as possible, stay in a seperate room when you can. She's not making anything easier on you *HUGS*
    "I believe that education is all about being excited about something. Seeing passion and enthusiasm helps push an educational message."-Steve Irwin​

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    I ran out of thanks, but again, thank you so much. It's hard to feel like the only sane person in your family. My mother's constantly falling into the victim role and my sister has almost crippling OCD and germophobia, it's enough to make me stir crazy after a while!

    I was able to afford everything, but then I went and made the mistake of needing surgery a second time and my job made everything so intolerable that I quit. It was 'bad timing' for them (my boss said those exact words) to have to give me two weeks off, so instead of illegally firing me, they decided they'd make life miserable. Now things are pretty bad off, but I keep telling myself 'it's only temporary'..I'm not selling my collection though. Not until I know I won't be able to support them.
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    That is a really tough situation. I can relate to being an adult, and having to move back in with the rents for a time. It's definitely not fun, and I remember celebrating the day it was over.

    I work in a vet clinic and see a lot of people with 9, 12, 15, 25 cats. Or people with 6 cats and 7 dogs. You are no where NEAR a hoarder. I see people turn down vet care because they have too many pets and no money. If your pets are cared for and getting their needs met, then no one has any right to say anything to you.

    Unfortunately, family members tend to be the most critical of each other. However, you are an adult, and you have made your choices. Your mom doesn't have to like it. She asked you to come, which means she needs to learn to accept everything about you. It sounds like she may never be able to do that, but that is her problem, not yours.

    I regularily feel the need to defend my animals to my mother in law, or the cleanliness of my apartment. But then I think, NO. It's my life, it's my choice to have pets, I live here and she doesn't. If she doesn't like me because I have pets and have destroyed her son's life, then that's her problem and not mine. And I have told her so.

    Hopefully you can move out of there at some point. It doesn't sound like an ideal situation for anyone. Stay strong though, especially with upcoming surgery. I hope everything goes well for you.

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    Thanks honey. <3 I just have to remind myself that people have to protect themselves first. There's no promise that someone's going to give you anything or do anything for you, you have to find what makes YOU happy and just screw all the rest. My happiness comes from my kitties/creatures, photography and art..the last I haven't been able to do, even my commissions, because of stress. :/
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  8. #8
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    get that a lot as well. i have one dog, 5 cats (ok two of them were my fault.. didnt get my female fixed in time..) 20+ cresties, a few birds, a leopard geckp and some fish.. now one of my friends wont come to my house because she wont "support a hoarder".... fine with me, shes missing my fabulous pets

    my tag on my sig is mainly a joke cuz some of my friends have joked that.. but yeah.. the one friend is just nuts.

    ya just gotta turn the other cheek and ignore it.
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    Man that is rough. Just focus on your upcoming surgery and try to mentally block all the negativity anyone gives you. Your animals give you comfort, comfort you need to reduce the stress. Your mom's pets will never do anything wrong in her eyes simply because they are her pets. Lets talk about something you really enjoy. These ball pythons you are hoarding (j/k), what type of project do you have in mind?

  10. #10
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    Are the animals getting vet care? Are they reproducing out of control? Are they well fed? Do you have to forgo health care, quality food and random luxuries for the sake of your pets? If you answered no, then you are not a hoarder.

    I am a veterinarian, I have 3 cats, 2 dogs, 2 rats (pets), 1 snake, 2 poison dart frogs, a fish tank, 2 bettas, and about 50 geckos of varying species.

    I think not knowing how many animals you have might classify a person as a hoarder, but I decided long ago it didn't matter as long as they are cared for.

    My boss, also a veterinarian, has 11 dogs and even more cats than that.
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