Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 35

Thread: Broke Up

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,226
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Broke Up

    Officially broke up. My boyfriend broke up with me after 2.5 years. I stood by him through the bad, through him cheating on me, financing vehicles, new jobs, through everything. He decided it just wasn't there anymore, and he's back with his ex, which is the person he cheated on me with.

    Although, I never regained trust in him, and he never allowed me too bc he never told full truths, only partial truths, I'm having a rough time with this.

    I can't believe I wasted 2.5 years for him to go running back to her. In a storybook, she's the evil witch with the super bad personality. I'm the loving girlfriend who does more than this girl ever will. The difference is she puts out more than I felt the need for. He's trading stability and love for a pure physical relationship. I've always been insecure to her, as she's very attractive, but this utterly sucks. Good personality and person versus bad. It makes me wonder what's wrong with ne that I couldn't be good enough.

    I'm hurting bad. Trouble sleeping, but when I do that's all I want to do. Trouble eating, and I already have trouble with my weight. (I lose weight much faster than I can gain it, and I have to really be careful of what/how much I eat.)

    To top it off, my parents are fighting and something is about to go down with them. Yes, I am 24, but when it rains it pours.

    I'd like to wait up with a new set of cards.

    I'm already on anxiety meds bc of the cheating that occurred over a year ago. I may have to go back to a therapist to talk it out with a professional.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    northern IL
    Posts
    8,007
    Thanks
    112
    Thanked 978 Times in 362 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by goReptiles View Post
    Although, I never regained trust in him, and he never allowed me too bc he never told full truths, only partial truths, I'm having a rough time with this.
    Sounds like it's a good thing you are out of the relationship, then. I know it might be hard to see now but from an outsider's perspective you can't keep a relationship going with no trust.
    Quote Originally Posted by goReptiles View Post
    I've always been insecure to her, as she's very attractive, but this utterly sucks.
    If that's you in your avatar you are pretty smokin'! I know it is probably part of the depression following a breakup but you definitely shouldn't down yourself on that front.
    Quote Originally Posted by goReptiles View Post
    To top it off, my parents are fighting and something is about to go down with them. Yes, I am 24, but when it rains it pours.
    ...
    I may have to go back to a therapist to talk it out with a professional.
    Sounds like you already know what you have to do to keep from being too overwhelmed. It sucks, and I'm sorry! Take a few days to eat junk food and cry with friends and then give a therapist a call so you have a good base to rebuild from.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    sacramento, ca
    Posts
    5,190
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 65 Times in 55 Posts

    Default

    Of course you are having trouble with this, It has been a 2.5 year relationship and I can tell you are a very caring person her gives it her all. Now you just need to find somebody who deserve you! because he does not, the bleep.

    I must agree with jaybee go get your some some junk food - chocolate, ice cream, chips and high calorie stuff - eat it, cry with a friend and then go see a therapist.

    Good luck kiddo! and lots of hugs and good vibes coming you way
    Roxanne
    and the zoo
    www.geckoluv.com

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    New JERSEY
    Posts
    5,687
    Thanks
    162
    Thanked 338 Times in 171 Posts

    Default

    It is hard at any age, but 24....

    Here's the "trick": realize that it is his problem, NOT yours. Learn from "wasting time" to never do it again. And be THANKFUL that you found this out now, before a marriage or kids. People not worth your time and effort leaving you is really a blessing in a not so great disguise... you'll figure that out.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Anchorage, AK
    Posts
    884
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    the way to get over heartbreak is to be PISSED OFF. And you have every right to be pissed off and you should be pissed off.

    He didn't pick her because she's PRETTIER than you - you are beautiful. I suspect he picked her probably because perhaps she dumped him prior? or some such baggage where he cant' let go of that (maybe not all that different than why you stayed with this jackass after he cheated on you) relationship.

    I know this is cliche, but you absolutely can do better than that.
    Beth in Alaska
    1.0.0 Corgi (Pirate)
    1.0.0 Keeshond (Toklat)
    0.2.0 Guinea pigs (Chocolate and Lightning)
    1.0.0 Human (Ben aka The Monk)
    0.0.2 R. Auriculatus (Horrorcow & Ziggerastica)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    284
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    I empathize with you, the emotional and physical symptoms due to heartbreak can be severe. Whitney I have read your blogs and you seem to be intelligent, youthful, and are beautiful, someday this guy will be nothing more then a bad memory.

    Now for the tough love, what were you thinking getting involved with a cheater? It sounds like this guy was no good from the start, why didn't you break it off with him? He was a liar,a cheat,a deadbeat, and a user. Be thankful that it is over and the relationship didn't go further.

    What ever is happening with your parents you have no control over, you only have control over your own relationships. You could advise that they seek counseling but you need to focus on your self.

    Time heals all wounds and even if your hurting big time now, it will pass. Talk with friends, reflect, keep busy doing things you like to do, live your life doing what make you happy. Before you know it you will be on a upward turn and dating again, only good guys this time.

    I am a big fan of meditation and the Tao, reading the Tao always relaxes me, perhaps it may help you.

    http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/co.../taote-v3.html
    http://www.taoteching.org/
    “they who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither nor safety”

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Sanford, FL
    Posts
    674
    Thanks
    218
    Thanked 102 Times in 52 Posts

    Default

    Even though I am at the prime age of 21. I know what you are going through.
    Being with a total butt hole and taking the hits over and over again even though I would cook dinner, wash his clothes, and be his love slave and although I knew I was better he left me for a chonga. Penciled in eyebrows, blonde hair, and perhaps had a Nice-rRack than I because her fat was all going to her chest. And I did the bad thing but still satisfying thing. I called her up. And said, "By the way, that teddy bear he gave you? Like 5 minutes ago? Was the bear he got me for valentines day." Told her everything. The good, the bad, and the hideously ugly.

    Sure she wanted to beat my ass (which I wouldn't feel because it is overly squishy and is more like a huge down pillow attached to my back..) but I got the chance to laugh about it.

    DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. Unless you just wanna be a total beeotch and possibly have to use your fists. I'm a lover not a fighter so i def wouldn't have won that fight! It would be like.... A helpless adorable rabbit vs. a rabid chonga with jail history. (I stopped using analogies at "vs.")

    Sorry you are going through this hun, but take it as an experience. I turned around a decided to do the complete opposite of what normal Jessica would do. And it turned out to be the best decision ever. I will never date anyone I have anything in common with, nor will I ever date anyone dumber or less educated than I am. It's all funny lookin boys with good grades from here on out <3
    "My Karma ran over your Dogma."

    ~*iHERP*~
    Ethereal Exotics on Facebook
    Good Guy BOI

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Nashville, Tennessee
    Posts
    3,726
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    *Big hugs*

    Break ups suck, but the guy seems like an ass. I would have shown him the door the first time he cheated. You do NOT deserve that.

    You are beautiful, inside and out, and don't ever forget that. Stock up on some chocolate, movies that make you laugh, and just let yourself heal. If you two lived together, and he's the one moving out, start planning on the exciting things you can do with the extra space.

    He doesn't deserve you, and you'll see that one day
    3.6.3 Crested Geckos
    0.0.1 Bearded dragon
    0.2.0 Marbled Crayfish
    0.0.1 Axolotl
    1.1.0 Cats (Lightbulb and Paperclip)

    Kazzy's Kritters

    My iHerp Page
    Middle TN Exotic Pets Club

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Iowa City, Iowa, United States
    Posts
    2,240
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 117 Times in 66 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ReptileChick View Post
    He doesn't deserve you, and you'll see that one day
    This is all you need to know. It will take time, it will hurt, and you may have some trip-ups along the way.

    My best advice - stay single and focus on YOU for the next 6 months. Find a hobby YOU like, decorate the house the way YOU like, and learn what kind of relationship will be fulfilling for YOU instead of just for him.

    If you needed anxiety meds because of the relationship, it should have been over a long time ago. Been there, done that. Find someone that supports and cherishes you, but also someone that makes you laugh and takes the stress of life away. Yes, everyone will drive you crazy now and then, but overall your life should be BETTER for him, not more stressful.

    Don't settle until you find it, you have all the time in the world. If you don't take the time to focus on yourself first, you run a high risk of ending up in another dead-end relationship where you aren't able to recognize the problems until its over.
    www.harleygecko.com : Color, Contrast, Structure
    Specializing in Harlequins and Pinstripes in Red, Cream and Yellow
    3.9.20+ crested geckos
    Harley - my first gecko, retired and spoiled
    Pickle - unsexed leachie

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Anchorage, AK
    Posts
    884
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misskiwi67 View Post
    Yes, everyone will drive you crazy now and then, but overall your life should be BETTER for him, not more stressful.
    YES THAT!
    Partners should be good for each other.
    If someone makes you feel insecure, unattractive, or otherwise unworthy, they are not a good partner. In my experience people who make you feel that way often do it on purpose, so that your self esteem drops and you feel like you'll never find anyone else. But thats just attempts to keep you captive - you know what I mean? Its not reality or truth, its lies to make you be stuck with them forever, in codependency. Many of these kinds of people are also verbal abusers. Not all.
    Beth in Alaska
    1.0.0 Corgi (Pirate)
    1.0.0 Keeshond (Toklat)
    0.2.0 Guinea pigs (Chocolate and Lightning)
    1.0.0 Human (Ben aka The Monk)
    0.0.2 R. Auriculatus (Horrorcow & Ziggerastica)

Similar Threads

  1. Leachie update She broke 100 grams!!
    By Redness S4TT in forum GARGOYLES AND OTHER RHACS
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-09-2011, 07:28 PM
  2. I think my Geckos Broke Some World Records
    By PandaParade in forum RHACODACTYLUS GECKO PHOTOS
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 06-20-2009, 03:40 PM
  3. She broke my camera ..
    By Prinnie in forum RHACODACTYLUS GECKO PHOTOS
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-08-2009, 02:12 PM
  4. Cage door broke! This is just great!
    By Jennsen in forum RHACODACTYLUS CAGING & TERRARIUMS
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-25-2008, 06:40 PM
  5. Broke My 2008 Resolution!
    By Swtbrat in forum CRESTED GECKOS
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-08-2008, 09:07 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •